Certain Assumptions and Warlike Behaviors

When I was younger, I thought I knew everything.  I know that sounds trite and cliché, but the confession is true.  I now realize that everything I thought I knew wasn’t as solid as I thought it was, and that I was assuming quite a bit to get to where I was then.

Let me explain with this example:  Scientists have been recently developing a space messaging system, technology that sends information into deep space in hopes of receiving an answer.  Although we’ve been listening for otherworldly messages since 1985 with SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence), and in 1974 we even sent a onetime 3-minute deep space signal to a specific star, now a new group called METI (Messaging Extraterrestrial Intelligence) plans on sending numerous messages out into the stars to see who is listening.

The initial idea of making initial contact with an alien civilization seems incredibly valuable and an enormous leap forward for humanity, but there are a variety of issues and conundrums that surround these actions, all of which are dependent upon several assumptions that we are making as a human race.  For example, we assume that should we reach an advanced people, these beings would want to develop a friendship with us.  By extending the olive branch to advanced worlds, how can we be sure that they will accept it?  (If you look through the annals of history, when Columbus came to America, it didn’t turn out so well for the Native Americans.)  We are also laboring under the possible delusion that as civilizations age, they become wiser and develop a totally peaceful existence.  What if these advanced groups have only become more warlike?  Some scientists have mentioned that they hope these civilizations are not angry or hungry, or we are in big trouble.

Also, when METI decides to send out its first message, there is debate as to what that message should be.  How do we know that those receiving it will not interpret it as a declaration of war?  Or an opportunity for colonization?  Or a loud beacon alerting them of our presence, when staying quiet might be the key to our survival?  And, with the universe being billions of years old, our world has only started thinking about contacting other worlds in the past hundred or so, while others might have been doing it for millions of years.  Maybe we’re one of the last worlds to the space party and are so far behind technologically that it may not be that other worlds don’t know that we’re here: maybe they just don’t think we’re worth contacting.

The only conclusion that can come from all this posturing is that we just don’t know what’s out there, what to expect, what to do, and we have no way of knowing any of it.  Thankfully, scientists are fully aware of what they do not know, so discussions and debates ensue, unlike some Christians who are not aware of what they do not know and just self-assuredly assume instead.

In fact, there are times that Christians are so sure of what they assume that they will base it as their entire foundation for belief.  As such, we assume that Jesus had long flowing brownish/blondish hair with brown eyes and light skin, as that is how He is often portrayed in art and film.  Yet given His lineage and the area in which he was raised, He most likely looked more Middle-Eastern than Arian.  We develop firm opinions on whether communion is actually Jesus’ body and blood or if it is just symbolic of His sacrifice, and we condemn anyone who thinks otherwise.  There are many that fully “know” what our own resurrection will entail, how long it will take, whether it will be bodily or spiritual, and how it will coincide with Christ’s return, but if we are to be honest, we really have no firm clue.

The fact that we don’t know is fine, but the problem arises when certainty comes when we are only assuming.  Wars and church divisions have come from arguments based totally on a hypothesis, as Christians can stand so firmly on assumption that it overwhelms them to the point of forgetting the two basic elements of Christ’s teaching: “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these” (Mark 12.30-1).  At this point in His ministry, Christ knew that the various sects and lawmakers had so muddled every Jewish law that to be a follower involved too much specialized adherence and furious debate, so He boiled it all down to two laws.  However, since then, we have developed so many firm assumptions that many of us confidently stand on shaky ground, when the only fixed foundation should be these two rules.

There is a distinct difference between what we believe and what we know, and when we swap the two, we risk alienating the world and each other.  Instead of being immobile in your opinions, stop accepting assumption for fact and know that you do not know.  Instead, embrace your brothers and sisters in Christ, in addition to the non-believer, putting love above all else, just as Jesus asks us to.  Amen.

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Grief:  It’s What’s for Dinner

Like most afflictions in life, the loss of a loved one is never easy to deal with.  Although coming to terms with the absence is the eventual goal, the journey there may be even more important, a trek that is paved with gut-wrenching, heartbreaking feelings that most identify as grief.  Although difficult to experience, grief is part of a healthy diet, nourishing us back to our former well-being.  Avoiding it or shortening it before its time deprives us of the nutritional healing it brings.  The grieving process, the steps needed to come to terms with the death of another, cannot be rushed or skipped, or we run the risk of further complications.

I recently learned that a local middle school, after the unexpected suicide of one of their classmates, encouraged students to attend services, counseling, and bereavement meetings, only to be rushed back to class in two days’ time.  The students, of course, deeply missed their friend, and the school didn’t acknowledge the loss beyond what they already had done in those couple of days.  They felt they had done their job.  So, the students hadn’t really grieved it fully and processed the death of their classmate, a process that takes time.  Thus, feelings of abandonment set in, and as they are now graduating high school five years later, they still hurt deeply about their loss.  What the school hadn’t considered was that they had shut down the students’ grieving process, a necessary part of their lives, when what they should have been doing was serving up a healthy amount of empathy and understanding.

The grief process is a natural reflex to an unnatural act.  As humans, we were never created with the intent to die, so most likely, we were also not created with the ability to cope with death, hence it takes time to heal.  Grief affects almost everyone at some point, but when it happens to other people, as Christians we can help people through the process.  Although grief manifests itself physically (weakness, aches, headaches), emotionally (anxiety, frustration, anger, guilt), socially (isolation and uncharacteristic behaviors), and spiritually (questioning one’s beliefs and faith), and can last anywhere from 6 to 18 months after the loss, the easily determined countermeasure that meets the needs of all of these symptoms comes down to one simple serving task:  being there.

Nothing works better in helping others through the grieving process than spending lots of time with them.  Christ sets forth His example with the model in Psalm 34.18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  God’s response in our time of grief is to be closer to us, as closeness brings comfort.  Knowing that God is walking with us through our time of loss helps us in overcoming the abandonment issues we feel during grief.  In addition to the amount of comfort that God provides, we should follow His example and serve up our support to those who grieve through our close proximity to them.

Surrounding loved ones with our presence is the best approach to helping them through grief.  Comfort is found in having other people around, as we feel that we are not alone when people are with us, going through the process alongside us.  Like the Jewish tradition of Shiva, which is practiced by having family members stay for a week in the home of the deceased and just sit with the immediate family, our constantly being with those who mourn brings ease and healing.

This ancient practice hearkens back to earlier years, even to the time of the death of Lazarus.  “Many of the Jewish people of the region had come to Martha and Mary to console them” (John 11.19) when their brother Lazarus died, and Jesus came soon after, as well.  They all knew that great comfort is found in others, as during the grieving process, we feel alone, abandoned, and hopeless.  Sometimes, comfort can come in the form of a stranger, if that stranger has been through a similar situation, hence the presence of bereavement groups.  When a Delaware pastor lost his teenage son to a car accident years ago, his wife received comfort from a call in the middle of the night from a Midwest stranger who previously had similar circumstances.  Surrounding the bereaved with hopeful people doesn’t cure the issue, but it brings much needed healing that takes root.  Our presence and our reaching out shows that we care.

In times of loss, knowing that we are not alone allows the process to move towards a time of healing.  When we see others grieving, it is important to surrounded them with others.  Had the school system spent more time working with the students in helping them through the process, many today might not necessarily be at ease with what happened, but would most definitely be at peace.  It is this peace that we can introduce to those who grieve by simply being there.  Whether sharing a meal, a night out, or just sitting quietly together, the therapeutic result of basic human connection and interaction nurtures grief and helps the person process the loss.  By answering the call to reach out to the grieving, we are doing His work by serving others and allowing a much-needed process to thrive so that a time of healing can grow forth from it, bringing peace to a place where there was none.  Amen.

Talking Ourselves Out of Listening

As a teacher, I witness thousands of interactions every day.  Conversations abound around me as teenagers struggle with navigating the social and academic landscape, attempting to understand themselves and their peers.  During these conversations, students are often grasping to get their points across as awkward silence and miscommunication block their intent.  I see them talking over one another, cutting each other off mid-sentence, and being distracted by something more interesting around them.  It has been argued that teenagers, and ourselves, have lost the art of conversation, with the influx of technology being the main culprit.  Although, this reason may contribute, there is an even greater reason as to why we are not communicating well.  One of the most important skills we can learn in order to effectively converse and communicate with one another has nothing to do with what we are saying, but involves us closing our mouths and opening our ears.

In Celeste Headlee’s TED Talk “10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation,” the NPR host cites several different strategies and approaches to get the most out of our interactions.  Among ideas that include avoiding multitasking and pontificating, utilizing open-ended questions, and dodging repetition, is one of her most important pieces of advice, for us to listen when others speak.  Although a simple directive, it’s not quite so simple when we look at the reasons as to why we don’t listen to one another.

When we converse, anxiety tends to play a part, and we feel the pressure of expectation.  So, we tend to listen less and talk more because, let’s face it, we’d rather talk.  When we talk, we are in control and need not worry about the direction of the conversation.  We are then the center of attention and can guide the conversation towards topics in which we are interested.  When we listen, we hand over control to another, which can sometimes be uncomfortable and intimidating.  Also, because of our humanity, our egos dictate that we consistently like to promote ourselves, thus our constant need to interject our own pontifications and experiences into what others are saying.  And finally, we get distracted easily.  Our brain listens to more words than we can speak, so our mind tends to wander, thus taking more effort and energy to pay attention to someone.  Yet, if we put ourselves aside and accept humility, we can actively engage in listening to one another, gaining a deeper understanding of our lives and relationships.

Proverbs 18.13 states that “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.”  When we do not actively listen to each other, we develop disagreements and misunderstandings.  We build unfounded resentment because we are too concerned with our own agenda.  Author Stephen Covey observed that, “Most of us don’t listen with the intent to understand; we listen with the intent to reply.”  If we can set aside our personal needs and surrender them to others, we can truly listen to what others are saying, resulting in building stronger relationships based on truth and understanding.

We also tend to talk too much to God in prayer instead of listening to Him.  We most often pray when we have a need or a list of desires, but we don’t pray when there is nothing to say.  So, we may be telling God everything we need, but we don’t hear what God truly wants for us.  As Christians, we desire to know God, and listening helps us work towards that goal.  Film music composer John Powell said that, “A good listener truly wants to know the speaker.”  Through silence and being a good listener we grow closer to Him and align our goals towards knowing Him better.

There’s an old joke about careful listening in a marriage that goes something like this: “My wife says I never listen to her.  At least I think that’s what she said.”  Although told in jest, the humor rings true, as most of us have no idea how to really listen to one another.  This week, ask for a spirit of humility and spend more time listening than talking.  If we silence our inner selves and become humble in speech, not only before others but before God, we grow in faith, wisdom, and in our relationship with Him, finally hearing what wonderful plans He has for us.  Amen.

Putting the Human in Humanity

As I was overhearing two people having a not-quite heated but not-quite agreeable discussion about our current president in my classroom, it was clear that even though they were not seeing eye to eye, they seemed at least open to listening to what the other was saying.  Finally, in a moment of exasperation, the non-Trump supporter explained, “I don’t understand why.  Help me to understand.” Instantly, the sentiment reverberated in the room, as everyone listening suddenly realized what we were sorely lacking: empathy.  It was a moment of clarity for that person and for all those around, as they realized that we are living in a time period where understanding is needed more so than convincing, but most are not living that way.  

Ever since that moment, I’ve been trying to get a hold of where the nation and our individual situations are headed.  I did not vote for Donald Trump, a fact that I easily admit to not as anything else other than a fact.  I merely did not agree with his views and policies and felt that he did not accurately represent me.  So, during the election process, I found my default to be one of quick judgment of him and his supporters, and since they disagreed with me, it must be their mental shortcoming.  In fact, most of the country seemed to be defaulting to that approach, which may explain why we are now so divided.  The fact is, judging and dismissing is easier than trying to understand the opposing viewpoint.  Empathy requires patience, time, and openness, all signs of humanity.

So in an attempt to bring us together, I’ve been recently trying a new approach, where when I encounter a political opinion contrary to my own, I want to know why they feel that way and how they got there.  I may not agree with their view or decision, but at least I understand them.  If our ideas of what’s best for the country don’t match, that doesn’t make either side inherently evil; it just makes them different.  It’s our intolerant reactions to one another that invites evil.

The “Serenity Prayer,” a staple wall-hanging in many Christian households, reads, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” With the three active requested characteristics being serenity, courage, and wisdom, they can be categorized as three traits that align with empathy and understanding, all of which fall under the same umbrella: acceptance.  In Romans 15.7, the apostle Paul encourages us to “accept one another, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”  Even though we rejected, persecuted, and crucified Him, Christ was still able to accept us.  Surely, we can do the same for those that merely disagree with us.  

So when I asked some Trump supporters about what they thought of the latest enacted policies, I instead pursued a line of questioning that helped me to understand why and how they could support them, not a line of defense that created intolerance and discord.  From there, I learned of the past pain and struggle that plagued them, how they grappled with disappoint and failure, and how these new ideas provided hope for them.  This approach humanized them, and I could now see why they felt that way.  In the end, I didn’t agree with their stance, but the conversation went a very different way than it could have, as I was learning to accept them and reflect His approach to others, as well.  Through this humanizing act of acceptance, we can model His example, giving others a glimpse at His glory and bringing the country closer together in the process.  Amen.

The Tangled Strings of Gift Giving

In the subtle art of gift giving, there is a careful balance that must be achieved between the two agreeable parties.  Often times, when a gift is being given on a mutually celebrated holiday, the two parties enter into an agreement, whereas when a gift is given, the accepting party must reciprocate with a gift of similar monetary value.  Additionally, an equal amount of enthusiasm must be expressed upon receiving said gift, or the gift-giver may feel slighted and insecure regarding the pleasurable nature of said gift.  If the holiday is one-sided (i.e. – birthday), the receiver of the gift must express a certain measurable amount of both surprise and enjoyment for the received gift in an attempt to raise the esteem level of the gift-giver.  If, after measuring the amount of enjoyment for said gift, the gift-giver is dissatisfied with the response, then succeeding feelings of jealousy and resentment may incur, which may be followed by events of bickering, brawling, and/or relationship breakups.

When giving a gift, there can often times be a lot of baggage that comes with it.  The above, although tongue-in-cheek, illustrates a point: that when giving or getting a gift, there comes a certain amount of worldly expectations.  When people give, they expect something in return, whether it’s another gift or some reasonable expression of gratitude.  String are usually attached.  And the expectation of gratitude comes not just from gift giving but from any time people go out of their way to do something for someone.  I can remember specific times when people have cooked something for me, and they hover over me waiting for the confirmation that I love what it is they’ve done for me.  Should I express anything less than absolute love for the food, there is immediate disappointment.

One of the main reasons as to why we attach worth and emotions to material things is because of the ownership we have regarding these items.  When we give something, we extend a part of ourselves, and if the person doesn’t respond as expected, we feel personally injured because of the selfish value we place on things and their worth.  We give, expecting to receive.   We become attached not to the selfless act of giving but to the emotional and material worth of the exchange.  As we are attached to our things, we measure our relationship based on this interaction.  Mark 10.25 cites the attachments we have to our possessions with this parable: “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”  In addition to our attachments, the verse suggests that human attachment to things directly connects with the amount of things we have.  The more we have, the more attachment there is.  Hence, when we give large, expensive, important gifts, we expect an equitable response.

Now, the verse is not suggesting that we get rid of all of our possessions.  In fact, if all we have is from God, then getting rid of them would be rejecting His gifts to us.  He gave them to us for a reason.  Instead, what the verse is suggesting is that we acknowledge our faults as people, becoming aware that we naturally become attached to our things.  If attachment is a default, then Christ calls us to a higher reasoning, imitating Him as he gave Himself to us, knowing that we would reject His gift.   Jesus had no expectations when he offered His body for sacrifice.  There was no agreement between us and Him.  He did it as a selfless act of giving and love, and we should similarly follow, denying our sinful nature and embracing His motivations by focusing on Him instead of the act.  As you give to others, don’t wait for thanks or gratitude in order to feel love.  Give selflessly because you want the other person to feel His love, instead.  Amen.

Giving God Your Full Attention

I can usually tell when my students are listening to me or not.  Their attention is usually fragmented by any number of devices or distractions that surround them on a daily basis, so I must be aware when they are listening and when they aren’t.  Often times it’s some social media-like thing that they are immersed in, or they’re lost in thought about some problem they’re facing at home or with someone they’re dating, or sometimes both.  The issue is that because of the demands placed on them in life and the social expectations they should be living up to, there is too much going on for them to participate in active listening.  Although, I can’t really point the finger much.  At home, my wife often accuses me of only hearing every third word she says, as I often get the gist of what she is saying right, if not the details.  I suppose for my students, the same can be said about me in that I just have too much going on in my life and head to actively listen sometimes.

When we want someone to actively listen to us, we sometimes ask them to look directly at us when we are speaking, in an effort to make sure that they are listening attentively.  In my class, when I am saying something important that I don’t want to have to repeat, I often times ask them to “Listen with your face” so that I can make sure they hear every word and idea that I am saying.  Perhaps committing more than just your ears to hearing is the key to actively listening.  Since more than one sense is necessary in these situations, so it can also be said of worship.  When we pray or worship God, whether on our own or together, we can and should be committing more than just our minds and ears to Him.  In Romans 12.1, Paul doesn’t limit us to only those two commitments, but feels as if we should be using as much of ourselves to glorify Him. “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.”

Many years ago, I decided that it was not enough to just commit my voice to God in worship, but to commit as many of my senses to Him as possible.  So, when we would recite a prayer or song, I would make sure to not only speak it, but to commit my eyes to Him by reading along as well, even if I already knew the prayer or song by heart.  Additionally, I could commit my ears to Him by listening to the church body around me participating along with me in the song.  I can feel the power of His prayers and songs by touching the prayers and verses as I recite them aloud.  I could take in the smells of candles and incense, knowing that they are there to bring glory to Him.  And I can taste the communion wine and bread, remembering the sacrifice He made for me.  However, despite committing these five sense to Him, there still remains a sixth one that is most important: the heart.  We can utilize our sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch to glorify Him, but if our hearts are not for Him, then those commitments are meaningless.  It is the heart that guides our mind and actions, and without it, those senses and commitments are meaningless.  So, this week, let’s not only commit all our senses to Him, but our hearts as well, so that we can fully promise ourselves to Him in life and in spirit.  Instead of just listening with our faces, let’s listen with our hearts, too.  Amen.

Sore Throats and Hard Hearts

This past week has been a rough one for my health, as I just can’t shake this horrible cough.  It’s been keeping me up at nights, haunting me throughout my day, and tearing up my throat something fierce.  Blindly convinced that the problem lies solely within my throat, I’ve been guzzling honey and cough syrup in an attempt to get rid of it, but all to no avail.  Since my cough has been the most prevalent aspect of my illness, I’ve been focused solely on correcting that part, fixated on the one part that bothered me the most.  My exploration for a cause and cure has been narrow at best since the solution must be found within the symptoms of my cough, right?  However, what I soon found out was that I was neglecting congestion, which through negligence then allowed for an infection to set in, which was the cause of my throat being sore, thus triggering my cough.  In light of this new discovery, a little Mucenix was added and the infection and cough began to clear up.  If I had just taken a minute to expand my outlook beyond the cough and find what was truly at the root of my illness, I might have tackled it sooner before the infection had set in.  It wasn’t until I began to look beyond the coughing (the aspect of my illness that I was allowing to define my health) that I was able to see other aspects.  I just couldn’t look beyond the cough and see the larger picture.

The same can be said about how we view some people in our lives.  I have friends who have so much hatred for a particular person because of something he did years ago, that they now allow that action to define everything he currently does and is as a person.  There is an old adage that suggests that when you hate someone, everything they do is offensive.  Similarly, these friends can’t see beyond his past action, so now everything he does is tainted by that past choice.  Because they allow everything he does to filter through his unforgiveable past, they incorrectly see these well-intentioned current actions as an offensive affront and attack.  They have allowed an infection to set into their minds as they have refused to budge on their opinion of him, whereas if they could just see beyond this initial, seemingly defining aspect of him, they might see him for his current ideas, good choices, and insight.  By neglecting forgiveness, they have allowed for an infected mind and a hardening of their hearts to settle in.

We become so blinded by our own ignorance when we refuse to forgive others, that everything they do is infected in our eyes.  Ephesians 4.17-18 explains the dangers of blinded thinking: “So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.”  When we choose to not forgive for past transgressions, minor or not, we harm ourselves and our walk, hardening our hearts in the process.  Then, we miss out on His blessings, and an infection of the mind takes a hold of us.  If we see past that issue and forgive, we allow for His work to be done in us, but it is only through willing introspection and prayer that we can avoid a hardening of our hearts.  This week, find those people in your life that you’ve defined by their one or two wrong actions from long ago.  The time has come to unburden your hardened heart and allow His healing to lift the infection that you’ve allowed to settle into your mind.  Amen.

Discernment, Acceptance, and the Dangers of Refinement

As my wife and I uncorked a bottle of new Cabernet, my 8-year-old son looked on with great curiosity and interest.  Since it was named after one of his favorite superheroes (Ghost Rider), he thought he should try some for himself.  Never wanting to squash his curiosity and desire to try new things, we poured out a splash for him to taste.  As he drank, a look of horror washed over his young face, and he quickly searched for the nearest sink.  After several minutes of spitting and washing his mouth out, he declared that the wine was awful, as my wife and I enjoyed every sip.  Most of us probably have a similar story when we were younger, as wine, beer, coffee, whatever, is a mostly acquired taste.  Our primary gastrointestinal instincts with these items don’t usually align with a desire to consume.  Our tongues are not used to these new flavors, but over time, we grow to appreciate, like, and even enjoy most of them.  Also over time, and with greater experience, our tastes mature and become refined.  What was at first bitter or strange now has a range of familiarity, developing into an array of quality and taste.  Our discerning tongues then know the difference between what works for us and what doesn’t.  When I first became a Christian, I involved myself in everything I could that was considered Christian.  Deeply committing to emotional and involved worship, I was interested in feeling everything.  Yet with time and experience, the initial desire for being swept up emotionally dissipated and a more discerning sense grew from the variety of Christian experiences I had, developing a desire for more intellectual involvement.  I desired a quieter approach that contained personal reflection, private contemplation, and confessional writing.  With a more refined faith, these newer ways furthered my walk with Him as the older ways just weren’t doing it for me anymore.  My more perceptive faith learned to search and test out various forms of Christian study and growth and decided upon what worked best for me.  Proverbs 2.3-5 models this approach to our faith, encouraging us to be forever seeking and refining: “Indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.”  Thus, it is not so much the final product, decision, or discernment that we have come to or developed, but instead the need to experience and refine our faith in whatever fashion that individually works best for us.  So, were my original more emotion-based ways of faith exploration bad or wrong?  Of course not!  There are still many people today who are refined in their faith and are involved in a more emotional approach to God.  Their faith increases tremendously with each new praise experience or spiritual intervention.  It works for them; it just doesn’t work for me.  There’s nothing wrong with them and nothing wrong with me.  We’ve just each grown in separate but wonderful directions. For those who have matured in their faiths, one of the dangers of experience is the temptation to look down on and judge harshly practices they have grown away from, and to now view them as pointless and wastes of time.  But who are we to judge?  If it helps others grow closer to Christ, then it must be good.  Just because it doesn’t work for you, that fact doesn’t make it wrong.  We must allow for variety when it comes to growing in Him and avoid judgement of other’s Christian walk, or we risk splintering the body.  We should instead further His kingdom through unity, embracing others and their diverse ways.  Whereas judgement and rejection fatally afflict the body, acceptance and understanding bring healing to it, uniting us as one in Him.  Amen.

Empathy Amidst the Chaos

As words were slung between my two senior students, the stress levels of each continued to rise, and tension filled the room.  Each had very strong stances on illegal immigration, and the two girls took each comment more personally than the last, until they were ready to attack each other physically.  When I finally called a cease fire and told each to rethink their approach to the other person, reflecting instead on the way that each was responding, the two began to reach a deeper truth in each other, seeing the other’s worry and fear in the issue, taking note of how the issue was impacting the other on a more personable level.  Their anger was stemmed in their individual fear, and each was acting out in anger based in that fear.  When they were able to see the rooted fear in each other, they became empathetic to the other’s struggle, then putting aside differences, resulting in better and more true communication.  This past week has been difficult for this country.  We’ve seen an election literally split the country down the middle, where the two sides are now in a bitter feud regarding the outcome.  Riots and protests fill our nation’s streets, as both sides feel that they are misunderstood and that the other side is completely wrong.  Anger pervades, but this anger is rooted in something deeper than hatred: fear.  A recent Pew Research Center poll found that “more than half of Democrats (55%) say the Republican Party makes them ‘afraid,’ while 49% of Republicans say the same about the Democratic Party.”  Both sides are deeply fearful of the other, terrified of what the other might do to the country.  With each thinking that the other is deeply unreasonable and misguided, a lack of communication results, all of which is based in fear.  So, where there is fear, there is a lack of communication, and thus a lack of empathy develops as both sides misunderstand the other.   When Christ was beginning his ministry in Matthew 9, many gathered to Him to be healed, but the crowds became large and unruly as they quickly grew in number.  Christ could have looked at these people and dismissed them as angry and riotous, but instead He saw what was at the root of their actions: “Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd” (9.36).  Looking past their outward anger, He saw their deep-seated fears, and became empathetic to their plights.  With this understanding, he continued his ministry instead of scattering them.  When my two students understood that fear was at the root of their anger, they listened to one another and began a constructive dialogue.  Although they didn’t agree in the end, there was a mutual acknowledgment and appreciation of the other’s viewpoint, leading to an empathetic understanding of one another.  When we allow our fear to lead to anger, we open the door to hatred and suffering.  With the amount of anger our country is feeling right now, our hatred will only grow if we don’t work towards open communication.  It’s time to look past the anger we have for one another and see the fear that is at the heart of our actions.  When we see that we are acting out of fear, we begin an empathetic journey that leads to a better understanding of one another.  Although we may never agree, we can certainly appreciate each other and work towards an openly communicative understanding of each other’s point of view.  In the aftermath of this most difficult election, we need no longer focus on our differences and be afraid of one another, but instead empathically look towards open communication and to what unites us as a nation.  Only then can we be healed.  Amen.

The Not-So-Solo Act of Drowning

I’ve been feeling amazingly overwhelmed this week.  I’m literally drowning in paperwork and expectations.  I have a self-paced graduate class I haven’t begun, and the work is due in a week and a half, stacks of letters of recommendation to write for outgoing seniors, college essays to grade (which needs to be done right away, since many need to send them out this week), as well as this devotional to write.  Then, there are the household things to get done that don’t include meals and cleaning.  (That faucet isn’t going to stop dripping on its own.)  I need a haircut and haven’t gone for a run in a week.  I was feeling a little less rundown last week, but just when my head started to get above water, I was quickly dragged back under with the weight of all of these items.  So what gives?  1 Corinthians 10:13 says that No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”  Christians often times read this verse as meaning that God will not put more than what you can handle in your path, that God will always provide a way out for you, a deliverance from all of your struggles.  However, with all of this work staring me down, the idea of tossing it all out the window doesn’t seem like a viable option.   Too often, people think that becoming a Christian means living problem and worry free, but here I am with both.  Some think that God is some sort of magician that makes all of our problems disappear, that we won’t have any more money problems, emotional issues, or life hardships to contend with, and when we do have these problems, it’s because there’s something wrong with us.  Our faith must be weak, or maybe we aren’t praying hard enough.  Yet, the truth is, these struggles don’t go away once we commit to Christ.  They are still there and still plague us.  The difference is that now we don’t need to face them alone.  There is great comfort in knowing that we aren’t the only ones with these issues.  I mentioned to my students the other day that, despite everyone’s seemingly put-together exterior, we are all struggling underneath; we all have issues.  I mentioned that we all feel alone or invisible and just want someone to acknowledge that they noticed us struggling.  About an hour later, I received an email from a student in that class, someone who seemingly had it all together on the outside, saying that she thought she was the only one with those problems and can now face them knowing that she’s not alone.  Like most, she didn’t want to tell me her problems, but just my letting her know that she wasn’t alone was enough that she could now face them.  For those of us in Christ, we can take great comfort knowing that Christ never leaves our side, that we face our struggles with Him.  But for those that don’t have Christ, we can model Christ’s example to them by letting them know that we see them struggling, and that they don’t need to struggle alone anymore.  As this weekend comes to a close for me, I feel less burdened than at the beginning, as I was able to face my workload knowing that He faces it with me.  I can overcome it because I know that I am not alone.  This week, when you struggle, know that Christ struggles with you, but when you see others struggling, let them know that they don’t struggle alone.  More often than not, just being acknowledged is relief enough.  Amen.